Everybody has a story. Their very own story. Even people that don’t think they have something to tell, have.
I’m going to be vulnerable and share my story with you today.
I spent 15 years commuting and working the 9 to 5. And at the same time started my family and raising my two boys with my husband. I was happy, excited, full of energy and motivation and I was taking life on with a smile.
As the years went by, however, I grew increasingly unhappy with my work-life situation. I wasn’t feeling motivated in my job as a trainer and I was constantly longing for my children, wanting to spend more time with them. Wanting to be with my loved ones, hug them, support them, and be present in their lives. I was getting tired and didn’t always have the patience I wanted. I wasn’t the super Mom I deep down wanted to be. I didn’t wake up smiling.
I had to do some traveling as well, and I remember being in wonderful, friendly Thailand on business, feeling absolutely terrified I would never see my kids again. It was like an anxiety attack lasting for 15 days until I finally set foot on Swedish grounds greeted by my three guys at the airport. The pain had been so intense, that there and then I decided I need change. The years of commuting, working, and traveling away from home had to end.
So I created the first of many changes in the years to come and stopped traveling. The job as a project manager. That job kept me in Sweden most of the time.
But it didn’t help my longing for my children much. Feelings of missing out on their childhood grew, to the point where I dreaded waking up in the morning and having to leave the house. Only to drive through rush hour, work at my desk reading/writing emails or going to meetings all day. Back in traffic in the evening, picking up super tired kids from day care and school. Trying to cook a decent meal while keeping them awake enough to eat it. Don’t get me wrong – I was happy. Everything was great apart from my work-life situation and my work-life balance.
Not only was I missing my kids too much, I was also starting to feel trapped in the hamster wheel.